Online Dating Tips

Awful Encounters: When I First Met Her Mom

by Tom Milnes

Although every guy has a story or two when it comes to first meetings with a girl's mother, some are just more hair-raising than others. If you are lamenting your own dating woes read on, and remember things could always be worse. You could have made the list!

"After a year of dating Jennifer seriously she finally got up the nerve to invite me to a family gathering to meet her mom, and as the front door opened I understood why it took so long. Looking and acting more like an older sister (a hot older sister), Jennifer's mother barely acknowledged her but with a big hug and a kiss she quickly commandeered me as her personal assistant for the evening. Halfway between the appetizers and the entrée I noticed that Jennifer was steaming, but it wasn't until the ride home that I got the full story about how her mother tended to get too friendly too fast with Jennifer's boyfriends. Apparently this wasn't the first holiday gone bad at that house." — Eddie, 29

"I consider myself a pretty live-and-let-live kind of guy when it comes to religion but having Linda's mother over for Christmas was more than I could take. First she insisted on a sadly uninspired set of Christmas carols — Rudolf and Frosty conspicuously missing — and then lead us in a zealous hand holding experience. When she assumed I was going to midnight services I lost it. By the looks I got from both mother and daughter I'm guessing I stepped over more than a few lines. Hopefully I will have found a way to step back over by next year, or I may find myself around someone else's tree." — Dave, 36

"My associate's intern Tania and I had been shamelessly flirting for weeks before she accepted my help with her upcoming move. So, I was surprised as I pulled up the following day to find her mother there as well. Being nearly 10 years older than Tania I thought it best to keep a low profile, which was hard to do once the questions started: Ever been married? What do you do? What are your plans for the future? I soon realized that she wasn't grilling me for her daughter — she wanted me for herself! I managed to make it through the day with nothing more serious than a few embarrassing moments, Tania and I have both toned the flirting down a bit. If there is a ever a next time, I think we will stick to dinner and a movie." — Barry, 32

"Intelligent, funny and a great conversationalist, Donna's mom — like her daughter — seemed near perfect. That's why I couldn't believe what I was hearing. After a great dinner and three bottles of wine an off-color ethnic joke sent my jaw headed for the floor. Both Donna and her mom laughed off my complaints as being PC. They weren't laughing so hard when I lifted my jaw and a few pictures from my wallet of my own family tree." — Pete, 45

"I'd characterize my girlfriend Elaine as soft-spoken — bordering on quiet — but I never bothered to venture a guess as to why until I met her mother. Sure, we were a few minutes late but nothing excuses the way he mother continually yelled at her daughter, especially in front of a guest. Since Elaine wouldn't defend herself, I stepped in, things got ugly and I learned a lot about what makes both those ladies tick. I eventually got an apology in the mail from Elaine's mother but I think she should have sent it to her daughter." — Rick, 40

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Tom Milnes writes for Match, the ultimate online dating site.

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